LG Williams Tells Chinese US Concerned About The Deficits
By Martin Banger (AP)
HONOLULU – As the US federal budget deficit soars into the stratosphere, Artist LG Williams is reassuring the Chinese — every single one of them not just the big shots holding all the U.S. government debt — that the Obama administration is serious about restoring fiscal discipline once the current economic crisis is resolved.
“Don’t worry dudes, be cool. Let me make this as clear as I possible can; no, rather, since you don’t speak English let me spell it out for you: w-e w-o-n-’t s-c-r-e-w y-o-u, t-h-e U-S h-a-s n-e-v-e-r s-c-r-e-w-e-d a-n-y-b-o-d-y.””
Williams, almost making his first trip to China as an under-employed Artist is waiting at the Honolulu International Airport with a bottle of vitamins hoping to get a free tickets with food and board to meeting with Chinese President Hu Jintao and Premier Wen Jiabao. While waiting in the terminal next to a row of empty chairs Williams delivered a major economic policy speech as well as separate meetings with a couple of janitorials.
“As we recover from this unprecedented crisis, the US will cut our fiscal deficit, like, then we will eliminate the extraordinary government support to everyone but all the white collar criminals that we just paid off and put in place to overcome the crisis,” Williams said in a speech to tourists outside the beautiful grey concrete Honolulu International Airport, which Williams flew into nearly three months ago.
Williams repeated that message in a round of interviews last week with homeless Chinese in Honolulu’s Chinatowns he wrapped up his two days of practice.
“I am very committed to make sure that when recovery is established, that like we go back to living within our means, you gotta believe me, like that we bring our fiscal deficits down to a sustainable level, that like we unwind and reverse these exceptional measures that we’ve taken like in the financial sector, and I will keep saying this tell somebody in China like believes it,” Williams told Chinatown pigeons.
Williams said he had found support among Chinese homeless in Honolulu for the actions the U.S. was taking, that is, until he stopped giving them free 48 ouncers. “I’ve actually found like a lot of confidence here in Honolulu’s Chinatown when I like paid them, almost confidence, like in the strength and resilience and dynamism and Futurism and Dadaism and Fluxism and (I’m getting dizzy now) Truism of the American economy and I think a very sophisticated understanding (dumbshits) … of the steps (I’m stepping! Watch me step! Step! Step! Step! – Hell, I am tap dancing now! Tap a tap tap!) we’re taking and why they’re so important not just to the United States but to China and the rest of the world – in fact, lets not stop short – in our entire part of the galaxy!,” he said.
In another interview with pigeons, Williams had praise for the actions taken by the Federal Reserve. “Praise the Reserve! Hallajulla!” Williams said Fed Chairman Ben Ber Nankepanke had done an “enormously impressive job in the worst financial crisis in decades. Its almost time to party fucking down with Jesus!”
Chinese officials in China did not comment publicly on Williams’s reassurances, hell they have never heard of him until they Googled him, then banned his name from Chinese Google search engines, but judging from the reaction of the Honolulu Chinatown pigeons, Williams may still have some explaining to do.
Williams also said he believed the many steps toward a global stimulus were occurring in his pant which raised hopes for some women (or partial women that would be) in the transient crowd not concerned with “whether the US succeed in averting global collapse or global deflation.”
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More information: www.lgwilliams.com